Burning the Candle at Both Ends

On feeling burnt out... gradually, then all at once.

The last couple months I have been teetering on the edge of too much. I do this cyclically. I gradually add more and more and more to my life and my calendar—because, in general, I want to do all the things—then, all of the sudden, I’m drowning in the chaos I’ve created for myself. Does this happen to you too?

I know why I do it. There’s this thrill I get when I feel like I’m getting all the things done. I relish in those focused days where I crank out all the tasks, go to all the places, do all the things. And then the next day, I wonder why I can barely do anything.

I’ve written about this phenomenon in a few different ways, but I haven’t found a consistent way to act on what I know to be true. Most recently I wrote about What is Enough?, and last December I rallied around the idea of scaling back with my Less Hustle, More Naps illustration. And yet…

I’m not sure I’ll ever get the balance quite right—at least not consistently. There are so many exciting and non-exciting things vying for a person’s attention at all times. And right now I’m just… tired. Perhaps you are too? If so, today’s illustrated poem is for you.

Lead Bones

I feel rushed
and trapped
in a slow motion purgatory

the dissonance is palpable
nipping at the edges
of my consciousness

there’s a sinking feeling
wrapped around my ankles
…

Lead bones
stiff tissues
eyes half shut

My insides are buzzing with ideas
and to-do lists
and deep-seeded worry…

What if I can’t do it all?
What if I don’t get to do it all?
What if I can’t handle it all?

What if…
What if…
What if…

Thanks for reading

Thanks for being here! It truly means the world to me to connect with you every week. In case you missed it, last week I wrote about how some thoughts nest, and others fly away. You can check out that post here. In other important news:

RAY-toberfest is coming up!

I’m selling my illustrated books and zines next Sunday, October 8 from 12:00 - 5:00 PM at RAY-toberfest! It’s a free, family-friendly event in the Ray’s Wine & Spirits parking lot located at 8930 W North Ave, Wauwatosa, WI 53226. Stop by to check out some Octoberfest brews, tasty food, and amazing vendors!

This week’s art print

Paid subscribers, please keep scrolling to download a printable version of today’s illustrated poem! Every week I share a downloadable art print or zine with paid subscribers (and occasionally with all subscribers!). Upgrade to paid to get in on ALL the printable art downloads!