We Are Mirrors for the People We Love
How we treat ourselves demonstrates to other people how to treat themselves, whether we fully realize it or not.
I made a messy little zine called “Looking Up” about wanting people — particularly those who I love and look up to — to be kinder to themselves. It came together in a similar fashion to Intuition (pictures first, words second), with the added twist of cutting up and rearranging the images before writing.
First I taped off a grid on a piece of watercolor paper. Then I painted a bunch of blobby squares using Inktense blocks and gouache.
I have a rich history of making self-deprecating comments about myself. Usually as an attempt at humor, which I use as a cozy blanket when I feel uncomfortable. There is a time and place for a well-played self-deprecating comment or joke. But these comments can grow into actual limiting beliefs and create a negative mirror for the people around us.
Humans naturally mirror the behaviors of the people around them. It’s part of our social DNA. I’m not just referring to hand gestures and speech patterns. We can also be profoundly impacted by the self-image of the people around us — especially the ones we love and look up to the most. Whether we realize it or not, the way we treat ourselves provides a subconscious blueprint for the people around us to use on themselves.
On the bright side, by treating ourselves with love and respect, we give the people around us permission to do the same. Standing up for yourself. Accepting a compliment instead of saying something disparaging or self-deprecating. Avoiding negative self-talk. I know it’s easier said than done! It’s something I struggle with every day. And that’s exactly why I’m writing about it, and making tiny zines about it, and sharing all of it with you today.
Thanks for reading!
Thanks for being here! It truly means the world to me to connect with you every week. In case you missed it, last week I wrote a post called Happy Tears about receiving the finished copies of my illustrated poetry collection Stardust. All your orders and kind words have meant so much to me! Thank you!
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